Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
