i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Sober January is a disaster.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
