As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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