I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
