i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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