What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Randomize
