Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
