I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
