my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
