Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
