Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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