Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize