He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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