i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
never play flip cup with pint glasses
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
