Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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