1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
