he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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