She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
