i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I will pee on everything he values.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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