Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
