i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
