wakey wakey hands off snakey
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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