at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
