bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
