operation harelip BJ is a go
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
When are your genitals available?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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