I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just want nice things and good sex
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
