Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I love having hate sex.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
