Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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