Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
