Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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