you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
