I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
