Nicole vs. Life
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
