Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Randomize
