Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
