a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
