Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
