you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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