Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize