Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
