it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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