piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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