I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
This is classic penis vs brain.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
