As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
