gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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