All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I had to cum in my sink.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
