Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
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