it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
