Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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