People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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