better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
