So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
