I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Drunk is not a location!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
