i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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