hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
