It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
