Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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