You work out of a Hotel?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Randomize
