It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
