great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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