i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
nutella sex= disaster
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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